How to Advocate for Your Child at School (Without Being “That Parent”) with Scotti Weintraub, EP134

You've gotten THAT school email. And now, there's that sinking feeling that things aren't working and that you need more direction. Help is on the way!

In this episode of That’s Good Parenting, Dori Durbin is joined by Scotti Weintraub, a Parent School Navigator who helps families confidently partner with schools when kids are struggling academically, behaviorally, or emotionally.

Together, they talk about how to advocate for your child without feeling pushy, defensive, or overwhelmed—even when the feedback from school feels heavy or confusing.

You’ll learn:

• How to talk to teachers using language that builds collaboration (not conflict)
• Why leading with your child’s strengths changes everything
• The simple phrase that lowers defensiveness fast: “I wonder…”
• How to focus on next best steps instead of trying to fix everything at once
• Why school success is about more than grades—and what really matters long term

This episode is especially helpful if:

• You’re getting frequent emails or calls from school
• You suspect something is “off” with learning or behavior
• Your child has ADHD, learning differences, or school anxiety
• You want to support your child without becoming “that parent”

If school feels stressful right now, this conversation will help you find more clarity, confidence, and calm—one step at a time.

Connect with Scotti Weintraub:

Scotti Weintraub, MA, founder of Reframe Parenting, is a parent coach, school navigator, problem-solver, and podcast host who knows firsthand how hard it is to support a child when school isn’t working. Parenting her own two teens has taught her about anxiety, ADHD, learning differences, and the exhausting process of advocating with schools. Now she helps other parents cut through the noise, understand what their child truly needs, and finally feel confident walking into school conversations that used to feel impossible.

• Visit https://www.reframeparenting.com/
• Contact Scotti: https://www.reframeparenting.com/contact
• Take the FREE quiz: https://www.reframeparenting.com/quiz-golden-girls

Connect with Dori

Website & children’s book coaching: https://www.doridurbin.com

Want to help shape future children’s books created by experts like Becky? Join the That’s Good Parenting Club to vote on concepts, give feedback, and get early access to new releases:
https://club.thatsgoodparenting.com/club

Intro for TDP (version 2)

Chapters

• 2:37 Why School Feels So Stressful for Parents
• 5:37 What a Parent School Navigator Does (And When You Need One)
• 11:07 Getting “That” Email: Reframing Behavior, Feedback, and Defensiveness
• 17:23 Redefining School Success Beyond Grades and Labels
• 23:08 What to Say to Teachers: Simple Advocacy Tools That Actually Help

Transcript

Dori Durbin: Welcome to, that's Good Parenting, the podcast that searches for simple steps to reduce your parenting stress. I'm your host, Dorie Durbin, children's book illustrator, book coach, ghost writer, and of course podcaster. For many families, school brings up a lot of emotions and navigating our kids' school experience can be very complicated.

Dori Durbin: So when questions come up about learning behavior support, most parents want to partner well with schools, but they also don't always know how to do that. Today we're talking about how parents can navigate questions about their kids at school. With more clarity, confidence, and calm. I'm joined by Special Parent School Navigator, Scotty Weintraub.

Scotti Weintraub: Welcome to the show, Scotty.

Scotti Weintraub: Oh, thanks so much for that. Nice welcome.

Dori Durbin: Oh, I am so grateful first of all, that you do what you do because I think your job is one of the specialties that more people should know about and use. And so the [00:01:00] opportunity to ask you more about what you do is really important, not just for me, but for our listeners to know exactly what it is that you do.

Dori Durbin: So can you tell us a little bit more about that, Scotty?

Scotti Weintraub: Of course. Uh, as you mentioned, I call myself a school navigator. I also do parent coaching. And because I think that it's so hard for parents when your child is having trouble in school, and that can look like a broad range of things, and we can get into that.

Scotti Weintraub: But when your child is having a hard time, it can feel like you don't have a roadmap. And so part of what I help parents do is dig into what is. Actually going on with your child. And often that's kind of hidden underneath things like behavior or grades declining and, school refusal, those kinds of things.

Scotti Weintraub: But what is really going on underneath there? And then start charting that course through how do we engage with school? How do we work with them to partner? Because I also really believe that [00:02:00] schools want kids to succeed. And so when we work together with them, that's when really good things can happen for our kids.

Dori Durbin: Yeah, I feel like, like most parents would say that they care a lot about their kids' education. Um, I even, I love the terminology of partnering because I think it's really important for parents to be able to do, um, but finding out what the questions they need to ask or even like how to interpret things back on their end.

Scotti Weintraub: It's a really messy, complex process. So what does an actual school navigation event or process look like for them? When I work with families, I, you know, we start by saying, what do you know about your child? What do you know about how they learn best? What situations have been successful for them in the past?

Scotti Weintraub: 'cause I think it's really important too, to highlight strengths and to look for where things have gone well and not just where things have not gone well. Because I think those are. [00:03:00] Really key pieces of information that we can use to help guide what strategies we might ask for, how we might be able to navigate this child's very specific challenges because no challenges in school are exactly alike, and there's no kid, and no parent is exactly alike.

Scotti Weintraub: So when we know more about what's really happening, that's where we get that real valuable information. So we, we dig into that and then we use that information to go to teachers or administrators or school counselors and engage with them about, this is what I know about my child, this is what we have observed in the past.

Scotti Weintraub: This is what, if you've had testing done, for instance, this is what the testing has told us. How can we use that to help address these challenges that we're seeing?

Dori Durbin: Yeah. Yeah. That's such crucial information that I'm just thinking back to when my kids were little. My kids are in their twenties and I knew things about them that [00:04:00] looking back it would've been helpful for the teachers to know, but in the same vein, I had no idea how to come across without being like, Hey, guess what my kid can do or can't do, you know?

Dori Durbin: And it is just an awkward position as parents a lot of times to know how to even use the right language to communicate what you're trying to say.

Scotti Weintraub: Oh, yes. Yeah. I hear that a lot. And honestly, you know, schools are full of jargon sometimes that parents don't understand. And it's also true that when you go into these communications with school staff, you're coming as a parent in a very personal way, yeah. You're. You're maybe got your heart on your sleeve because you're talking about your child, which means a lot to all of us, and as it should, but a teacher is coming at it from a professional standpoint. Right. And that's not wrong or bad, it just is that we're coming to the, these discussions from two different [00:05:00] places.

Scotti Weintraub: And so sometimes parents will tell me they feel intimidated by that or that it makes them feel like they're being too demanding or they worry about being labeled as that parent, you know, the parent who is asking for too much. It's true that teachers are overworked and under-resourced. We know this, right?

Scotti Weintraub: But what I try to remind parents too is that. The information that you can bring about your child and about what has worked well in the past, or what strategies you have tried that actually will make the teacher's job easier. So if we sort of like reframe the way we think about it going into it, that can really help build confidence for parents because it can feel like you're walking into this situation that you know very, very little about, but you know your child and you care deeply about them.

Scotti Weintraub: Yeah. And so many times we hear just the child's [00:06:00] perspective of what's going on. Mm-hmm. And brains can take over and create the scenarios that maybe don't even exist. Yeah. We hear from our child, which anyone who's a parent will know sometimes leaves some things out and you know, we don't have the fuller picture and we can also feel defensive.

Scotti Weintraub: Because it, I think the, the piece that's sometimes hard for some parents too is that it can feel like our child's behavior or their academics or reflection on us. Mm-hmm. And so when we go into those meetings, it can feel, we can feel defensive. 'cause it feels like I want my child to have a good experience.

Scotti Weintraub: I want them to be successful. And when they're not, that brings up all sorts of stuff. So we try to take it one step at a time, you know, and try not to feel overwhelmed because it can feel really like a lot.

Dori Durbin: Yeah. [00:07:00] Yeah. So when parents come to you for help, what are some common problems that they're, they're asking for help with?

Scotti Weintraub: Sometimes it's that maybe they're doing okay at school, but as a parent you have the feeling that something's not. Working the way that it should. You have a suspicion, you have a gut feeling that maybe the reading, for instance, is harder for your child than it should be. And so sometimes we start from that place where we're not yet hearing from school that there's a challenge, but uh, that instead we just have this suspicion that, you know, they're spending a lot of time on that assignment and it feels like maybe it shouldn't be taking them as long.

Scotti Weintraub: Sometimes it's that intuition piece, but sometimes it's the whole opposite side where parents are just getting a tremendous amount of negative feedback. They're getting those phone calls, they're getting [00:08:00] those emails, and every time that pops up in your inbox, and I have been this parent, you know, another email pops up and your heart sinks and you think, oh, not again.

Scotti Weintraub: What is it now? You know, all of those, that frustration comes out. So sometimes it's that and that we have to dig into, okay, what have we, what feedback are we hearing and how can we move forward in trying to address it? So some, you know, people come with different perspectives, but it, in terms of the challenges that their kids are facing, it can be everything from, academic challenges.

Scotti Weintraub: Sometimes they know that there's a learning disability, sometimes they have no idea. And so this process of uncovering leads them to pursue more, diagnostics about that. Sometimes it's that they know, for instance, that their child has a DHD and they can see, oh, I can see where this is impacting them in the classroom, but they aren't sure how to [00:09:00] communicate about that.

Scotti Weintraub: So it can look like a bunch of different things on the surface. But you know, if we, it's that digging down and then really looking at, okay, what's our next step? Okay. And then after that step, what's our next, I like to call 'em next best steps because they're not forever. We're not, we're running a marathon, you know, we're not in a sprint.

Dori Durbin: Yeah. It probably feels like, as a parent, I'm assuming a lot of people have that anxiety, like it needs to be a sprint. Yes.

Scotti Weintraub: Yeah. And I want it fixed now, which I 100% get. I get that feeling. 'cause wouldn't it be great if we, and I wish that I had a magic wand, or that schools had a magic wand and we could just, you know, sprinkle the fairy dust and sometimes it's really not that simple.

Scotti Weintraub: So it's also about, you know, setting expectations about this might take a lot of work and that's [00:10:00] okay. We can get through it.

Dori Durbin: You know, I, I'm a children's book author, illustrator, I kids book World. So to me, stories are really important and I'm, I'm sitting and I'm listening and thinking, so really how important is it asking you for the family to understand their own story within the school?

Dori Durbin: Like how vital is that?

Scotti Weintraub: I think it's really vital, and I love that you frame it as a story because I, 'cause I love children's books too, but I think that it, I started when I started to realize when my own child was really struggling in school, which is, you know, the motivation for me doing this work now because I really believe that it shouldn't be this hard.

Scotti Weintraub: And so that's, you know, where my heart goes in this work. But I remember my, I could see it as if it was happening in real time. I could see my son's self-esteem. Getting [00:11:00] lower and lower with all of these challenges because we also know there's actual data on this that kids with NeuroD diversities or learning disabilities get a hugely disproportionate amount of negative feedback.

Scotti Weintraub: So you can just see them sort of like, shrink in light of that. And that is not what anybody wants. So I think when you ask what is your story? Your story is that you can help write their story about school, right? That it isn't just a story that's happening to, to them. That we can be active agents in helping steer that narrative.

Scotti Weintraub: And along the way, hopefully we can help build their confidence because they see that. Their parents are standing up for them. They see that their teachers are Cooper, you know, wanting to be cooperative and working together and trying to help them [00:12:00] succeed. When we only just think about that, all that negative feedback, it just makes my heart sink because I think all kids have potential to thrive and whatever that looks like.

Scotti Weintraub: And it can look very different for different kids, whatever success looks like. And we could have a whole, you know, we could have a whole conversation about that, but whatever that success looks like, every child deserves it. So how can we as parents put on our, advocacy hats and really help shape that.

Dori Durbin: Yeah, let's talk about successes. Yeah. Because I think an interesting point to this is we're talking about, I guess for me, I always think of academic and behavioral, but I have a feeling there's other successes that people should be measuring. So tell me a little bit about that.

Scotti Weintraub: Well, first I will just say that academic success does not equal straight a's, right?

Scotti Weintraub: This [00:13:00] is my, you know, my perspective that grades are one measure in a very specific way of what we have deemed, the standard. But if you, for instance, have a child with a reading-based learning disability, achieving an A might be much more difficult even with supports than it would be for a neurotypical.

Scotti Weintraub: A child who doesn't have a reading based learning disability. So I just like to bring that up because I think that's what I mean about success. Sometimes as parents, we get really stuck in this, that there's, one standard and the standard is, a high bar, it's getting straight A's or it's, uh, getting into a good college or whatever that may look like.

Scotti Weintraub: But the, you know, one of the things I have learned as a parent through all of these challenges my family's been through is that success can look like a lot of things. And what is our bigger goal? [00:14:00] Our bigger goal in parenting is not just to have a kid get straight A's, because by the time they're 40 that it won't matter that much.

Scotti Weintraub: Right? So our goal is to raise them to be independent, kind, loving. A good partners and whatever that looks like, those are our bigger human goals. And so what success looks like at school may vary. But if we're still, trying to meet that standard, then I think we're doing pretty well. I love that you bring that up, like the having a purposeful life versus having an a, I mean, a hundred percent we're gonna say no, we want our kids to have a life that's well lived, we don't want mm-hmm.

Scotti Weintraub: Just to have accolades on the refrigerator. Like that's, that's so limited. And, um, I think that's one thing, no matter what your kid is doing, whether they're succeeding in school or not, that's something that you have to look out for anyway. [00:15:00] So I think, um, bringing that back to us and reframing that, as a goal, you know, like a purpose, a life purpose is so much more. Mm-hmm. And something worth trying to achieve versus trying to force them to get the grades that are going to make them shine for a moment, a moment and a moment that is very narrow and limited in what it actually measures because it's, kids can shine in different ways that aren't about school either.

Scotti Weintraub: So I always encourage people to look at where are they doing? Well, you know, we talked earlier about like really seeing strengths. 'cause I help, I think it helps us as parents. I talked to a parent once who said they were having a hard time even thinking of positives about their kid. And that might make you, it might make us feel sad in the moment, but.

Scotti Weintraub: It's also true when the feedback you're getting from everyone is negative. [00:16:00] You know, you get the heat of this today and then that happened, and then that happened, and then you see the report card and it can feel like, oh my goodness, there is no good here. But there is always, always, always good.

Dori Durbin: Yeah. I think always strengths.

Dori Durbin: I was actually gonna ask you about parent teacher conferences because as a teacher when I taught, I felt like it was so hard to talk to some of the parents that you did have to say. This happened and this happened. Mm-hmm. And I tried hard to not focus just on that, but, but you're right. Sometimes there are really bad days or semesters or whatever it is.

Dori Durbin: Mm-hmm. Um, and so I was going to ask you, with the whole concept of reframing, like when you do hear that, how is a parent, do you take that information and reframe it to yourself, much less to your kids? Mm. In a positive way. Like how do you change that so it's powerful, positively instead [00:17:00] of negative?

Scotti Weintraub: Well this is hard work.

Scotti Weintraub: Right. I just wanna acknowledge that it's not simple and sometimes can feel really difficult. I, with regards to parent teacher conferences, and I did, I have a podcast too called Unlocking School Success, and I just did an episode last month about maximizing parent teacher conferences. And really I think the.

Scotti Weintraub: The ideas can relate to any, school meeting. But parent-teacher conferences are a unique time and teachers often have very specific things that they have to cover. And so it can, and it often is very short, and they've sat through 20 of them already that day. So it's a lot.

Scotti Weintraub: Um, but I think I just encourage people to start with a positive, start the whole meeting with a positive. It can be a positive about, you know, my, my daughter came home and said she really enjoyed when you learned about, the Jurassic period last week, whatever it is, right? They really enjoyed that lesson that we did in art.[00:18:00]

Scotti Weintraub: Starting with the positive just sets the tone for the whole meeting. And it also, lets a teacher know that you see. Their strengths too, that you see positives in the classroom, that you're not just coming to say, oh yeah, I, this happened and that happened, and then, you know, it's, it just, I think sets a tone and models like, okay, there are good things for us to see here too.

Scotti Weintraub: And I like people to also, come prepared with a few strengths about your child. So if a teacher says, you know, they were having a hard time sitting still, for instance, that's one a lot of kids can struggle with. They were disruptive or they were getting up when they shouldn't have gotten up.

Scotti Weintraub: It can be useful to pull on that information you already know about your kid and say, you know, what I've noticed is that they really do well when they know what's expected of them in [00:19:00] that time period. So that's, then that's turning it on its head, right? So it's saying, okay. Yeah, they probably shouldn't have gotten up and got and dis disrupted their neighbor or whatever.

Scotti Weintraub: Yeah, right. Whatever it is. Yeah, they shouldn't have done that. But what I've noticed is they do well when they know exactly what's expected of them during that time. I don't know. And then that opens the door to these are some tools we've tried at home, and in that scenario I'm thinking about things like, visuals and, I once asked a teacher, because my son was having a hard time when they had the schedule for the day on the board, but it was just the regular day.

Scotti Weintraub: And then when it was a day with an assembly or some kind of different schedule that wasn't on the board. So he was having a hard time sort of moving. 'cause he was like, but it's supposed to be this and it's not that. And so it was just an easy thing to say, like, okay, if it's a day. If they [00:20:00] really like to know what is happening, let's try this really simple thing.

Scotti Weintraub: So bringing it back to what, you know, has worked in the past, you know, strategies that you've employed at home, those are what, bring it back to a positive, okay, we have something to try. Great. We're not just focusing on, oh yeah, he's really disruptive, you know, end, end of discussion.

Dori Durbin: Yeah. 'cause that really focuses on the negatives again, and not his capabilities.

Scotti Weintraub: Right. Not his capabilities and not about problem solving.

Dori Durbin: So really when parents are thinking about helping their kids at school, they need to see their kids as having the ability to see themselves as problem solvers with the teachers the school.

Scotti Weintraub: Absolutely. Because I would argue even young kids have. Sometimes a real insight. Yeah. Into, if you ask them, you know, I heard you were having a hard time sitting still [00:21:00] during the reading lesson. What do you think was going on? And you say it without like, judgment, like, why were you not sitting still?

Scotti Weintraub: Like, that's not the same approach, right? Like I, and my favorite phrase ever is to say, I wonder because it just takes like all the pressure off. It's not judgmental. I wonder what was happening for you. And then it's an open-ended question. And then you just see what comes, could say, oh, I don't know. My shoes were too tight and I couldn't sit still because they were bothering me.

Scotti Weintraub: Or it was really loud that, and I couldn't just pay a, I just couldn't pay attention. It was too loud. Whatever it is. You're not focusing on the, like not sitting still. You're just leaving the door open to. Let's try to dig into what, I wonder what was happening for you

Dori Durbin: that makes, it makes so much sense.

Dori Durbin: And I, I say this now as a parent who doesn't have kids in school, I feel stressed about it. Right. But I [00:22:00] think the whole problem solving piece of it, looking ahead for those of you who have younger kids, having your kids capable of first communicating what's going on and being aware of that, but secondly, having words to talk to other people about issues that maybe are concerning for you.

Dori Durbin: Uh, that's huge. You know, because it is huge. We can't solve their problems forever and No, they need to be empowered to do that.

Scotti Weintraub: They do. And, but I, I caution because I think sometimes people jump too quickly to the, well, they should be able to, to do that. Self-advocacy and really, I think that. Advocacy of any kind, especially self-advocacy for kids is a learned skill, right?

Scotti Weintraub: So if they are not yet able to do that, that's okay. And because I do remember encountering that where, you know, teachers would say to me, well, he just needs to ask for what he needs. And I thought, okay, that is a great goal. [00:23:00] Let's keep that as the goal. But we're not there yet. So if we acknowledge where we're at, then we have something to work towards.

Scotti Weintraub: And I think modeling that for our kids, going back to that, like we're showing them how to do it by engaging them in, in being reflective, I wonder what was ha what was happening for me when I couldn't sit still. Huh? So then they're able to think in those ways, and they might not get it the right the first time or the fifth time, but we're we're moving in that direction.

Dori Durbin: For parents who are, maybe they know their kids, but they don't know their kids as learners. Mm-hmm. Do you have any suggestions of how parents can understand their kids as learners in a better sense? Like in the school atmosphere sense?

Scotti Weintraub: Well, I think there are hints that can be found at home, right? If you see your child [00:24:00] engaging with schoolwork at home, when homework or I think just paying attention to how does that process go?

Scotti Weintraub: Does it seem easy for them? Are they feeling disorganized? Are they feeling overwhelmed? You know, just sort of like noticing. But I think the sort of real treasure trove of information is to talk to their teachers, not just current teachers, past teachers too, right? And. So I always encourage people, you know, at the end of a school year to ask those questions, what worked well for my student in your classroom?

Scotti Weintraub: And make quick notes. I'm not talking, you don't have to write a thesis about it, but you just want to be able to capture some of that information. 'cause then you can bring that to your conversations the next year or the year after. You know, what worked well in this class was this. Um, and I think it can be super helpful too for teachers to be [00:25:00] able to go to their peers.

Scotti Weintraub: 'cause sometimes that is you know, talking peer to peer 'cause they shared a common language and training and all those things can be really useful. They can go back to that other teacher and said, you know, I have the student in my class and I know you had them last year. What do you think was useful?

Scotti Weintraub: What strategies did you try that is like really, really valuable? And so as much as parents can like encourage that. Asking those teachers themselves, encouraging their current teachers, like to go back to their colleagues to bring in other outside folks to share perspectives. The school counselors are like my favorite people because they can be so helpful and I don't, I think they're underutilized in these conversations, so I'll just, that's my plug for school counselors.

Scotti Weintraub: But you know, I think there's always somebody that can help. So bringing in those voices is definitely a thing that parents can do. [00:26:00] Why don't parents do that to begin with? I think sometimes they just don't know that they can. They, I talked to a parent not too long ago who was facing some, uh, roadblocks and getting.

Scotti Weintraub: Supports for their child. And I said, well, have you, have you talked to the school counselor? 'cause I do think sometimes they can go to the teacher and have, you know, initiate conversations. Um, and they said, oh, I hadn't thought of that. I think that it's just not something people know that they can do. And I do think that it's true that parents worry about being seen as pushy or demanding or that's a real thing.

Dori Durbin: Yeah. Yeah. And there's, there's such a, at least from my vantage point, there's such a danger in not saying something early mm-hmm. And getting mm-hmm. And not getting response waiting for a [00:27:00] response that nobody knows about. Right. And then jumping up to, let's say, oh, let's go to the superintendent and tell him that I'm having issues in this class.

Scotti Weintraub: Yes. There, there, there are lots of challenges in what you just described. Um, I, yes. Parents sometimes will say, well, I sent an email and I never heard back. And my response to that is always, okay, stuff falls through the cracks. We are gonna assume good intent. That is like my number one mantra. We assume that the teacher didn't respond because they, you know, they were overwhelmed.

Scotti Weintraub: Everyone knows what it's like to lose emails. It just happens. So if we just assume that, okay, then you just send a another, I'm just following up. This may have dropped, you know, down in your inbox. I'd still really like to talk about this. No conflict, no judgment. Just to like, I'm just bringing it back up.[00:28:00]

Scotti Weintraub: Easy. And yes, please do not go straight to the superintendent. That just will create more problems for you. That's not to say that sometimes things don't need to be escalated. 'cause sometimes they do. But you should always, always, always start with the pr, the teacher themselves. Yeah. I do feel like you're right with the emails and when I was a teacher, I remember having emails like the school already sent you emails, and then you get emails from all so many other organizations and then you get emails from parents occasionally.

Scotti Weintraub: So it just depending on what grade you teach, how many students you have, like it'd be super easy to miss something that was really important and it's so easy. It's easy for all of us, even when we're not teachers. Yeah. So can you imagine, uh, because it's also true that teachers don't get to sit in front of their computer all day just going through their email, right?

Scotti Weintraub: So they're time. Availability for emailing is often quite limited. So I also encourage parents to ask how the [00:29:00] teacher prefers to be communicated with, right? So if that means that that teacher is like, my email box has 5,000 unread messages and I can't even look at it 'cause it's just too much. If that happens, right?

Scotti Weintraub: Maybe you can say, okay, can I, can I drop in at at pickup and we can spend, just talk about this for a few quick minutes. Is before school a better time? You know, whatever that looks like. But asking them gives them the ability to say, you know, email is hard. Let's just chat after school. Okay. And as much as we can as parents, although I know our schedules sometimes are hard too, as much as we can be the flexible one, it also just sets a good collaborative tone.

Dori Durbin: Yeah. I was talking to someone today who was saying how he had an impromptu meeting in the middle of a grocery store. And I think that, you know, like as parents, we look for an [00:30:00] opportunity, a window to talk to a teacher. And if they're not mentally prepared for the meeting or they don't have time for the meeting, then they might rush through it or they might tell you they don't have time right then, and it just feels bad.

Dori Durbin: Whereas if you approach them and ask for a time to set up, can I make an appointment? Do you have time? Then it's a totally like, they have time to go through to think through what maybe you're going to talk to them about or whatever's going on. And it's not like a, a drop a bomb drop, you know?

Scotti Weintraub: Right. Yeah. Or, or to be able to say like, I know that we're not gonna be able in, in your tight timeframe, whatever that mm-hmm. Is, we're not gonna be able to. Really cover all of my questions. Can we set up another time? I often tell parents like, don't be afraid to ask for another time. It, you might just need it.

Scotti Weintraub: And that's okay to ask. So good. That's so good. It's such a simple thing, but it's such a powerful thing. It's, I think sometimes people just [00:31:00] need permission, you know, to say like, it's okay to occupy a little bit of time and attention for these particular concerns. It's okay. And actually it's gonna make everybody's life easier because if you can head off the challenges, you're not, you know, the teacher's not gonna have to keep sending those emails or keep calling you, you know, to tell you or, and the frustration they're feeling in the moment when you know your child is disruptive or whatever it is that's happening.

Scotti Weintraub: If we can try to work upstream. We're actually saving everybody a lot of time and attention and frustration.

Dori Durbin: So lots of things are going off in my head. I'm trying to slow them all down to the line, but I'm thinking about how we prepare kids in school by giving them tools. And the tools are intentionally to create habits and routines that [00:32:00] become products in their lifetime.

Dori Durbin: So, so we're giving them tools to become good adults and functional, purposeful adults. So in the flip side of that, Scotty, what would you say are a couple tools that you end up teaching your parents to help them become good and productive parents who develop those good and productive students?

Scotti Weintraub: Well, we've talked about some of them already, of course, but I think it is so useful to try to reframe that piece about. There are good positive things because it is easy, especially when your child is struggling and you're getting all that negative feedback. It can be easy to sort of focus on that.

Scotti Weintraub: And when we can instead see, the good, the creative, the talented in other ways that school doesn't measure kinds of things. I think that is a super valuable tool. And I [00:33:00] think over time what it's led me to is a lot more empathy, right? Because not just with my child, but empathy with my former self empathy, I think back on, kids that I went to school with and I think, man, I was not very empathetic towards their school challenges, right?

Scotti Weintraub: So I think it's a tool then that then we model for our kids about seeing the potential in all people. That's good. That was really good. So, okay. I'm a parent. I'm listening. I am thinking to myself, boy, I really should talk to Scotty. We need her wisdom and more tools. Uh, where would they go and tell us about what you do for parents and families specifically.

Scotti Weintraub: Thank you. You can, your first stop is my website, which is just reframe parenting.com. And I, of course named my business after this idea of, if we look at things from a slightly different angle, [00:34:00] we use a different lens than it opens up doors to ideas and conversations and that problem solving instead of just shutting the door.

Scotti Weintraub: Um, so my website, reframe parenting.com. I have a blog. I have a podcast there too. I mentioned that earlier. Unlocking school success, which you can find on, uh, any podcast player. And there you'll find information and tools and ideas and conversations all about these things that we've been chatting about.

Scotti Weintraub: Uh, you'll also find if folks are interested in digging more into like what your own school support personality is. I have a fun quiz on my website. It's Golden Girls themed because I think these conversations are sometimes too serious. We need to also have a little likeness so you can think about what are the strengths you bring as a parent to the, the advocacy and the support of your child and what are some things you might think about.

Scotti Weintraub: So that's there. The Golden Girls Style Quiz is all available on my [00:35:00] website too. Uh, and I'm launching a brand new school success library, which is a a low cost membership. I'm developing new tools in it all the time. So that is also something really fun that I'm working on to try to get this information and these ideas and what questions to ask and how to engage with schools out to as many parents as possible.

Dori Durbin: You work with parents one-on-one as well?

Scotti Weintraub: I do. I also do one-on-one coaching if people wanna dig more into that. And sometimes, people just need a little more support to get the things done that they need to do. And so I, we dig into those pieces of what, who is your unique learner, and then I help you strategize, problem solve, and then carry that out.

Dori Durbin: That is so good. And so if I have a family who has two or three kids, can you work with all the kids or you just Of course.

Scotti Weintraub: No, we can, we can talk about [00:36:00] it more broadly too. Uh, but. It's often that one child's needs sort of are rising to the top. And then once we start addressing some of those more urgent things, then we can start talking about you know, how does, are there similarities in, you know, 'cause it's also true that things like learning disabilities and neurodiversity are inherited sometimes.

Scotti Weintraub: So it's often true that what impacts one child might also be impacting another. And, uh, the interesting thing I found working with parents over time is that a lot of parents now are finding their own, their own information about themselves through the process of supporting their kids. Oh gee, that sounds really familiar.

Scotti Weintraub: Um, so folks are finding, in their forties, for instance, that they also have a DHD by discovering that their child did. So it's all a process.

Dori Durbin: Wow. And I, I'm just thinking how that would impact your whole family, like [00:37:00] by, by doing one person, you're impacting family life, daily life, some of the frustrations that happen there, even though you're mainly seeing 'em at school.

Scotti Weintraub: Possibly, yes. It, it definitely has wider reach than just school, but I find that school is the one place that hardly anybody is actually talking about these things. And so that's why I focus, on school. But you're right, that knowing who you are, knowing who your kids are, has really far reaching implications.

Dori Durbin: That's so amazing. Okay, so if they have any questions that are going on in their head, they need to reach out to you at your website.

Scotti Weintraub: Yes. Or email you as well. They are welcome to email. I am, I actually do stay on top of my own email. I'm pretty good about it. It's just scotty@reframeparenting.com.

Dori Durbin: Perfect. Okay, I have one last question. So my last question is, if you had something that you would advise parents to [00:38:00] do as soon as they got off this podcast, what is the one thing that they should look at or start to explore to help their kids in school?

Scotti Weintraub: I think, oh, a great place to start, as we talked about earlier, is just ask some open-ended questions to your child.

Scotti Weintraub: And that could be, you know, what feels really easy at school for you. What's something that might feel more challenging and that, and then just listen to see what you hear. It might surprise you. Yeah. I love that. That's a great suggestion, A perfect segue into, and then you can get some co some coaching after that.

Dori Durbin: Yes. Well, Scotty, I appreciate all the information you've given us today. I love what you're doing and I just, I wish that more people knew about you. So I hope that this podcast is spread and shared so that more people can learn all about what you do and give in contact with you.[00:39:00]

Scotti Weintraub: Thank you. And I just so appreciate having these conversations 'cause I think it's really important.

Dori Durbin: I do too. Thank you so much, Scotty. Thanks. It was a pleasure.