Listen to today's episode, " 'The Unconditional Love' that Transforms Lives : 'Loved As You Are' by Steve & Courtney Cohen" as Entrepreneurs, Authors, and parents Steve & Courtney Cohen join Dori Durbin. Steve & Courtney also share:
Did you love this episode? Discover more here:
https://thepowerofkidsbooks.buzzsprout.com
More about Steve
"A life lived from LIES to LOVE…
Whether teaching, writing, or being a husband and father, I approach life with ardent intensity, calling God’s design and desire out of others. But it wasn’t always that way.
As an atheist for 20+ years, I debated the existence of the very God I love today with that same passion and intensity. I searched for a solution to the unceasing, unquenchable desire for something greater than me. I explored multiple religions and cultures only to be temporarily satisfied. Ultimately, I was left lacking true hope or understanding of who I was. I know now that God continued to pursue me, saving me from myself.
In 2002, I experienced complete love and the true fulfillment of my longing for more. This deep satisfaction was achieved when I surrendered myself, my desires, my will, and my pride to The Savior, Jesus Christ.
Shortly after God revealed His desire for me to share with the world that we are never too lost to be found. This is the heart of Now Found Ministries: that you would know and be known by your Creator, Savior, and Counselor, and that you would experience His undying love for you."
Buy their books:
https://amzn.to/3XpTkMs
Follow Steve & Courney:
https://nowfound.org
More about Dori Durbin:
Dori Durbin is a Christian wife, mom, author, illustrator, and a kids’ book coach who after experiencing a life-changing illness, quickly switched gears to follow her dream. She creates kids’ books to provide a fun and safe passageway for kids and parents to dig deeper and experience empowered lives. Dori also coaches non-fiction authors and aspiring authors to “kid-size” their content into informational and engaging kids’ books!
Buy Dori's Kids' Books:
https://www.amazon.com/stores/Dori-Durbin/author/B087BFC2KZ
Follow Dori
http://instagram.com/dori_durbin
http://www.doridurbin.com
http://www.facebook.com/dori_durbin
email: hello@doridurbin.com
Listen to today's episode, " 'The Unconditional Love' that Transforms Lives : 'Loved As You Are' by Steve & Courtney Cohen" as Entrepreneurs, Authors, and parents Steve & Courtney Cohen join Dori Durbin. Steve & Courtney also share:
Did you love this episode? Discover more here:
https://thepowerofkidsbooks.buzzsprout.com
More about Steve
"A life lived from LIES to LOVE…
Whether teaching, writing, or being a husband and father, I approach life with ardent intensity, calling God’s design and desire out of others. But it wasn’t always that way.
As an atheist for 20+ years, I debated the existence of the very God I love today with that same passion and intensity. I searched for a solution to the unceasing, unquenchable desire for something greater than me. I explored multiple religions and cultures only to be temporarily satisfied. Ultimately, I was left lacking true hope or understanding of who I was. I know now that God continued to pursue me, saving me from myself.
In 2002, I experienced complete love and the true fulfillment of my longing for more. This deep satisfaction was achieved when I surrendered myself, my desires, my will, and my pride to The Savior, Jesus Christ.
Shortly after God revealed His desire for me to share with the world that we are never too lost to be found. This is the heart of Now Found Ministries: that you would know and be known by your Creator, Savior, and Counselor, and that you would experience His undying love for you."
Buy their books:
https://amzn.to/3XpTkMs
Follow Steve & Courney:
https://nowfound.org
More about Dori Durbin:
Dori Durbin is a Christian wife, mom, author, illustrator, and a kids’ book coach who after experiencing a life-changing illness, quickly switched gears to follow her dream. She creates kids’ books to provide a fun and safe passageway for kids and parents to dig deeper and experience empowered lives. Dori also coaches non-fiction authors and aspiring authors to “kid-size” their content into informational and engaging kids’ books!
Buy Dori's Kids' Books:
https://www.amazon.com/stores/Dori-Durbin/author/B087BFC2KZ
Follow Dori
http://instagram.com/dori_durbin
http://www.doridurbin.com
http://www.facebook.com/dori_durbin
email: hello@doridurbin.com
[00:00:00.810] - Dori Durbin
There are so many new and overwhelming pressures on kids nowadays that I can't even imagine trying to grow up in a time like this. And it's even harder to imagine if it wasn't growing up with your own family, but rather an adopted or foster family. I think every kid needs to know that they are loved just as they are. Stephen Courtney Cohen will share their book Loved as You Are as well as their experiences with their own kids. Let's listen in.
[00:00:28.330] - Dori Durbin
Hello, and welcome to The Power of Kids Book Podcast, where we believe kids books are a catalyst for inspiring and empowering change. I'm your host, Dori Durbin. And today we have Steve and Courtney Cohen. They are the owners and operators of now Found ministry, publishing and Apparel, as well as over eleven books, including three children's books. And today we're talking about their book, loved as You Are. Welcome, guys.
[00:00:56.960] - Courtney Cohen
Thank you for having us.
[00:00:58.520] - Dori Durbin
Absolutely. Let's talk just about your book, "Loved As You Are" Just in general. What is your book about and what can you tell us was the premise.
[00:01:06.860] - Courtney Cohen
So "Loved as You Are"? It really emerged from a place of I mean, you can tell how the words came to be, but the heart of the book itself is really to speak to families that have kids, that have walked through hard times. So that can be foster children that have been adopted into their family that could speak to any kind of difficulty. That just we as humans walk through. So we've seen so many adults even read this book and just come to tears because it touches something in you, because we all face difficult circumstances throughout our lives.
[00:01:44.560] - Steve Cohen
The words themselves actually came out of a place of jealousy because my wife had a book that she had been given a children's book. It's called where your beginning began. And she got that poem late in the evening one night. And I had been jealous for a number of months that I wanted a poem, and I was going to God saying, where's mine? Where's mine? And one night he did that. He came to me and said, you want your poem? And it was about 10:00 at night, and we were just laying down for bed, and there he gave it to us. So that was kind of where it came from. But it's really all about this journey of family and creating unity. And Court talked about, or Courtney talked about the hard places, whether that's foster or even kinship, just different places, really hard places that maybe families come from.
[00:02:36.950] - Dori Durbin
And that's where the title came from, too, I'm assuming. The "Loved as You Are".
[00:02:40.690] - Steve Cohen
Yeah.
[00:02:42.390] - Courtney Cohen
So we've been foster parents, and then we've also adopted. And we know we've experienced in fostering that it's messy, it's not a very nice and clean process, and not everybody is super well behaved, including us, because it's all new. So it's a real challenging process. And yet it can be such a beautiful way to form a family if you're willing to take that time to dig into the value and the heart of that child. So instead of seeing the difficult things that that Kiddo has gone through as obstacles that are negative, that are bad, instead, if you look at those things as part of the bigger picture, which is kind of the theme that weaves its way through this book that God is going to use those hard things too, just as well as he uses the beautiful things that are more obviously good. And he is not limited by the difficult things that we face and the.
[00:03:46.110] - Steve Cohen
Loved as you are. Really, when you have foster placements or adoptive placements, a lot of times the kiddos are performing. They want to put on their best face, put on their best behavior so that you'll like them. And what we really want the heart to be is that we understand you've gone through some incredible, challenging things and you are loved as you are, even through or even with all of that stuff that you're coming to us with, because as Courtney said, we have that same stuff too. So you're loved as you are.
[00:04:22.520] - Dori Durbin
That's a great example, I think, about just even your own kids in that situation saying that they don't have to be perfect either, right? Not only the foster kids, the adopted kids, but your own.
[00:04:33.930] - Steve Cohen
Yes, absolutely.
[00:04:34.890] - Courtney Cohen
We certainly hope so.
[00:04:37.930] - Dori Durbin
That's the wish of every parent in some extent. Now, I'm super curious about the giraffe's name here. So you have kind of a cute story about Giff. What is that story?
[00:04:50.080] - Steve Cohen
It is "Jiff". Not to be confused with GIF. It looks like it really just depends on that whole argument there between GIF and GIF in the technology world. But Giff, the giraffe, was a character that we had painted on our youngest wall. And as she started developing her language and identifying colors and themes, she would come up to the wall every night, and we were walking around saying good night to all the animals, and she would say, you look like peanut butter, just in this cute, adorable tone. And there became Jiff, like the peanut butter. The giraffe just spelled with a G instead.
[00:05:28.250] - Courtney Cohen
Yes, because alliteration and we have to match giraffe with the G. Right.
[00:05:33.310] - Dori Durbin
And so the selection of the giraffe, was there any specific meaning behind that?
[00:05:39.000] - Steve Cohen
No. All of the characters that are in all of our children's books are developed from the characters that we painted on her wall. We have a mural. Every single wall in the room actually has animals on it. And we've just been going around and round. So as you flip through the pages, those are animals that we at one point have put up on her walls. We even added some extra ones after we thought about the book. We're like, oh, we don't have a bunny and there's a bunny there. We added just different characters all throughout her room.
[00:06:12.950] - Dori Durbin
Very fun. Also, I read part of your description. It said that Giff was going on a perilous and providential journey. So I thought that was really interesting, that Giff was going through something that was really trying. I'm assuming it has a parallel in your story there.
[00:06:31.150] - Courtney Cohen
I'm trying to think of how best to answer that one. Perilous and providential. So I've seen a picture even recently of just a stick figure, and there's just a line and it says how we would like things to go in life. And it's like point A, point B, nice neat row. And then the next line, it says how things actually go. And point A is here. And then point B just goes like there's a pit that you fall into. And then there's a mountain you climb. It's perilous. It's not nice and neat and clean and as orderly as we would all like it to be. But even in the peril there is the providential aspect to it. So it is being guided by God because he's inside of our lives and he is working through our circumstances and through us.
[00:07:26.590] - Steve Cohen
In the book, the illustrations themselves really lend to that as well. You'll actually see some times where in the poem it is a poem throughout the entire book, where you see Giff is hurting, he's crying. The environment around that in the illustrations also lend to that. They show there's from the boggy swamps of Fombly, which is actually the land that we've created, which is Jamaican for family tops with just a horrible snowstorm. It's just some of the most difficult things. But then you also see these beautiful times where Jeff is being elevated to a place of royalty, if you would. So it's really the span of, as Corny said, kind of the perilous and the providential. It's going from the lows to the highs. And no matter where you are, again, it's all about letting our family know, letting our kids know that you're loved. No matter where you're at in that journey, in that spectrum, that's going to.
[00:08:34.720] - Dori Durbin
Be really powerful for them to see visually and to hear in words, but then also to be reinforced by you having read it. Well, speaking of reading, did you have 30 seconds worth of your book that you wanted to share with us?
[00:08:47.290] - Steve Cohen
Absolutely. So the pages that we chose are at the very beginning of the book and at the very end of the book. So some of those other things in the middle, we'll just have to read it and see it for themselves. So here we go.
When one day you wonder whether you belong, please know that you're part of God's portrait, beautifully drawn. And then towards the end, you need to change nothing to be loved as you are. You are our child of God, our bright and wonderful star. When times get difficult. They're not out of hand. You are and forever will be part of God's beautiful or wonderful plan.
[00:09:34.330] - Dori Durbin
It's beautiful. I love that. I think it just makes you feel warm and fuzzy just with what you read.
[00:09:42.570] - Steve Cohen
And those pages there from the beginning, you see in the illustration that Jeff is looking out, but he's having trouble seeing beyond his current circumstance, beyond this clip that he's really standing on, looking out, trying to see what's coming. And towards the end of the book, and you go through all these different locations through Fombly, and towards the end of the book, he gets revelation. When we start seeing that part of this God's portrait is this beautiful tapestry of all of the different scenes throughout the book. And there's a unique little signature going on in the bottom right corner. It says, Yahweh, which is our God creator. The Lord just loving that's part of his portrait that he's been drawing.
[00:10:27.460] - Dori Durbin
So by the end, the whole thing fits together for him and for the reader.
[00:10:32.830] - Courtney Cohen
Yes, essentially the entire book until that last little bit zooms in on a scene. It zooms in on a particular space, and then at the end, it pulls back all the way.
[00:10:46.990] - Dori Durbin
That's really neat. Okay, when you wrote this book, I know that it was given to you. What did you feel the purpose of this book was, and how effective do you think it's been?
[00:10:58.770] - Steve Cohen
So the heart behind it, when Courtney wrote where your beginning began, that was for a specific purpose, for private adoption. And it was really burning on my heart that God would provide something that would really minister to the other adopted kiddos. And we had it on our heart that we were going to actually continue to adopt and we were going to continue to foster. So these other aspects and I joked around about being jealous, but that's really where the heart came from. Yes, I was jealous. I wanted a poem. I wanted to be able to be a part of this process and have fun with this as well. But there is just this burning desire to minister to kids from hard places, all people from hard places, and just things that we've all gone through.
[00:11:50.690] - Dori Durbin
So I'm curious if I can ask, what was the oldest age child that you fostered in your own experience?
[00:11:59.030] - Courtney Cohen
13. So 13, and then one.
[00:12:04.970] - Dori Durbin
Wow.
[00:12:08.890] - Steve Cohen
So we have a little bit of a range there. We'll see what comes next. God gave us a vision for our family many years ago that just says, always room for one more. And we would love to cast that same vision to other families who are thinking about it or even considering this, that we open our homes and always be willing and open handed to whatever God's going to do. If he's going to bring a child into your arms, it could be just for a couple of months just to give them a safe place. Anything along those lines that's really kind of this heart is to always have room for one more.
[00:12:45.830] - Dori Durbin
And I think my next question is how do you know if you're that person? How do you know that you're a family that can handle fostering other kids?
[00:12:55.210] - Courtney Cohen
Well, I think, first of all, having a burden on your heart for them and then I think one obstacle that people create, they create it as an obstacle and it doesn't have to be. I can't tell you how many people have said to me and to us, oh, I could never do that because it would break my heart when they left. And our response is something along the lines of, well, are you willing to be inconvenienced and for your heart to hurt a little bit in order to provide a safe place for a kiddo that really needs it? Because most of us, if our hearts are burdened for those kids, we're in a more mature state, a healthier state where we can handle a little bit of heartbreak. We know how to deal with being sad and being upset, but kiddos in that situation don't usually know how to process through those really difficult emotions. So I think that's a big indicator. If your heart is really bothered and you think that your heart would break, then you might just be the right person for that job.
[00:14:07.780] - Steve Cohen
Yeah, if your heart is breaking and you know your heart would break, that is a great indication for me that says, hey, you really need to probably ask out about this, see what he says and continue to move forward with it. Go get training, go to a class, go somewhere just to get an information session and just see what God does. And if he keeps on just going that fire in your heart, then I would just follow it.
[00:14:35.690] - Courtney Cohen
And there's also other ways people can dip their toe in a little bit. They can become respite caregivers, which is just under two weeks. And so helping out foster families, there's never enough respite families. And so you can get a little taste of what that process is like and get to know foster families in your area and go over and help them fold laundry and get involved in their lives because they need help. So there are so many ways to get involved and get a taste for it before you jump full in. If you feel like you need that little bit of experience, it's great advice.
[00:15:14.300] - Dori Durbin
I think too often people feel like they have to jump in full on and that's part of the intimidation is how much that's going to affect them immediately. Great advice. Okay, back to your book just for a minute. Well, after having written your book, who would you recommend would benefit the most from reading it and how might you have them read this book to, let's say, family, friends, et cetera.
[00:15:48.030] - Courtney Cohen
We would love to see this book get into the hands of at many adoption agencies and foster care agencies, where they can give this book to families that are starting out on their journey of fostering or adoption because it gives them a glimpse into what they might face and can kind of prepare their heart. But they already will have a tool to sit down on the couch with a kiddo and just read it. And that might open up windows of conversation where we discovered and something that we've heard many times over, is that you're not going to know everything about a child that comes to you through foster care right off the bat. You're going to discover things as trust develops, and sometimes you're not going to discover something until after adoption has even taken place. So it's this ongoing conversation through weeks and months and years of just being available and letting them know you're still loved as you are. Okay, there's another hard thing you need to share. Okay, you're still loved as you are. And just repeating that concept over and over, that's a huge way that we can see families growing and just bringing healing into their homes.
[00:17:12.660] - Steve Cohen
I think also to it shouldn't just be for the adoptive parents, but also for the family and friends around. I think all of them should actually have a copy of this book so if the children go to their house, they can hear it again. But also so that the parents like the grandparents, the aunts, the uncles, the best friends, all those people that are going to be pouring into these children just through contact and community and relationship, they should also know and be of, like, mind so that they understand the verbiage that's being used, but also really the heart of okay, I've gone through some hard times. This kiddo may actually just exhibit a different symptom of the same hard time that I went through. I'm just going to love on them. I just want to love on them and everybody uniting in that front, creating a stable foundation of relationship and love and genuine care for these kids.
[00:18:08.410] - Dori Durbin
It seemed like having that same language would inspire a lot more patience, a lot more understanding, probably just general empathy for that situation. Too exactly.
[00:18:18.510] - Courtney Cohen
I think too, we have several scenes in this book that really speak to the blended nature of this kind of family and how both Jiff was dreaming of a family, dreaming of parents, and the parents were dreaming of a child. And so you also see those glimpses too of what they hope could be and now they finally have arrived. So really appreciating that family that's come together. We have a family tree kind of picture in there with some different Polaroids stuck in.
[00:18:59.080] - Steve Cohen
There are some Easter eggs and things to look for. One that I'll give away is actually that family tree actually has the dots of Jeff grafted into the roots, which is a symbol of really grafting trees together, is something that's permanent. It's long lasting, but it means that they are part of. So by Jeff actually having her dots or his dots on the root system, it really shows how deep the family's love for Ms. That's neat.
[00:19:30.050] - Dori Durbin
That is really neat. I love that. Anything else we should know about it? Oh, yeah, go ahead.
[00:19:34.870] - Steve Cohen
I was going to say there's another Easter egg. It's not actually a lot of people when I say that a lot of people don't know what an Easter egg is, but it's just something to keep looking for. It's out there. It's fun to look. Just look throughout all of the illustrations. It's wonderful. There's a lot of thought there's about 400 hours of actual drawing time that went into this book. A lot of thought to tie the pages together, to tie the images to the Wording. And we'll have some other resources and probably maybe even some public readings and whatnot to kind of reveal some more of the fun stuff that's kind of hidden in the illustrations.
[00:20:07.980] - Dori Durbin
That's great. They'll have to see you in person, then they'll have to get all that. So if they're looking for you, where should they find you? Or where's the easiest place?
[00:20:17.570] - Courtney Cohen
So easiest place to go is now found. So nowfound.org
[00:20:30.090] - Dori Durbin
Well, thank you to both of you. Steven, Courtney, I appreciate your time, and I can't wait for people to find your books and just learn more about you.
[00:20:38.330] - Courtney Cohen
Thank you. It's been a pleasure.
[00:20:40.370] - Dori Durbin
Thank you.