[00:00:00] Eleanor Baggaley: I think it's because there's a little bit, a little piece of me in each of those books, and I think If you feel like you're revealing a piece of you to the world and someone says I don't like that, it's oh they don't like me. And it's, it can be quite hard to hear that someone doesn't like your ideas or they don't like a part of you or whatever it might be.
[00:00:19] Eleanor Baggaley: And I think that is one of the things that can get in the way. Parents,
[00:00:23] Dori Durbin: if you're anything like me, I know that you have your own personal stories that you've used to redirect and prepare your kids. Those are the stories of how you tried something, you failed, you learned valuable lessons, and often they were painful.
[00:00:36] Dori Durbin: And you then probably also have said, well, I could write a book. But perhaps your book's potential value is hacked away by the imposter syndrome that you feel. And that's just stopped you cold in your tracks. Maybe you even fear that the distraction of writing a kid's book would actually make you feel of a quote unquote less good parent.
[00:00:59] Dori Durbin: Then [00:01:00] how does a parent or anyone for that matter see value in their story, stop the imposter syndrome, and have simple and doable plan to break through the blocks? All of this and more will be covered in this episode. Today's guest is a transformational coach, book coach, former teacher, children's book author of seven books, and a mama who found that writing her own books completely changed her career direction for the better.
[00:01:25] Dori Durbin: Welcome to the show, Eleanor.
[00:01:30] Eleanor Baggaley: Hi, thank you. Thanks for having me.
[00:01:33] Dori Durbin: Thank you. Thanks for being here. I appreciate the time this morning. One of the things that we talked about just before the recording was being a parent, making decisions. And so, what was the number one thing? thing that was probably the most difficult thing for you as being a parent who was a working mom.
[00:01:52] Eleanor Baggaley: So when I was working prior to being an author, I was a teacher and I felt like I was giving all my time to other people's children [00:02:00] and um, it was just that kind of Recognition that I wanted to be there for my children and making sure, making those choices to prioritize that time to, to spend with them.
[00:02:15] Dori Durbin: Yeah. And so you shifted, you were a teacher. You actually shifted out of teaching into. Coaching and writing. So which one was first?
[00:02:25] Eleanor Baggaley: Probably the coaching. I, I was coaching teachers originally, uh, how to improve in the classroom. And then the transformational mindset coaching came from that. Just with the idea that people can get stuck in their routines.
[00:02:42] Eleanor Baggaley: And it was about helping them break out and see, see things in a slightly different way. And actually thinking about it, they probably both happened at the same time out of the same kind of reasons. Um, because it, it was all born from trying to help people be their best versions of themselves. [00:03:00]
[00:03:00] Dori Durbin: Yeah. I feel like, especially parents, you get stuck in this rut where you have this routine going and you're just living the routine.
[00:03:07] Dori Durbin: So did you find that quite a bit?
[00:03:10] Eleanor Baggaley: Yeah, I did. And actually the first books that I wrote happened by accident out of a totally different idea. So I was working on an idea with a friend about, we were both teachers and we'd both seen that teens were struggling with. What they were wanting to do with their lives.
[00:03:30] Eleanor Baggaley: And we started to try and look at something that we could do with that. And actually, although I ended up writing my first books for much younger children. That, that idea literally sprang into my head one afternoon and I put it straight down onto paper. So what did
[00:03:47] Dori Durbin: you see as the biggest struggle for teens that really propelled you to do that?
[00:03:51] Eleanor Baggaley: Their self doubt. They just, they couldn't see what their strengths were. And for some of them, even when they were going back and [00:04:00] asking their parents, there was this one boy that sticks in my mind that even when he'd asked his parents what some of these good qualities were. They'd made a bit of a joke about it and I found that was like, that it was really heartbreaking.
[00:04:16] Eleanor Baggaley: So I wanted to create a tool to help children to try and overcome that self
[00:04:23] Dori Durbin: doubt. So your book is actually written directly for the teens and not for the parents, right? Uh,
[00:04:29] Eleanor Baggaley: so yes, so the first few books are actually picture books for young children and despite my background not being primary, that, that was the one that came to me first of all.
[00:04:37] Eleanor Baggaley: So the first ones for those, but yeah, the, my latest book is actually written for teens themselves about how they can be their best versions of themselves, how they can recognize that in themselves, how they can go out and achieve whatever their hopes, dreams, and goals are. Hmm.
[00:04:53] Dori Durbin: I love that. And that's the focus of your younger ones too, right?
[00:04:58] Eleanor Baggaley: Yeah, everything I do. So everything I [00:05:00] do is to change the world one book at a time. And whether that's one book that I write at a time, or whether that's one book that each of my audience reads at a time, it will change the world, even if it's just changing the world for that one person. And that's the intention.
[00:05:13] Eleanor Baggaley: If it has a wider effect, then brilliant, absolutely amazing. But even if it just changes the world for that one person, that makes me happy.
[00:05:20] Dori Durbin: So I love that. And I'm sensing just this overwhelming confidence that you're showing, which I also admire. And I was just thinking to myself, have you always been like that about writing your books?
[00:05:33] Eleanor Baggaley: Oh, God, no. So I talk a quite a lot about, uh, psychic marketing and. Which obviously doesn't work because people aren't psychic. So when I, my background was maths teaching, so I was a very numbers focused person. So when I first started writing the books, um, I had a bit of an identity crisis because it was so far.
[00:05:57] Eleanor Baggaley: Removed from what I was used to. So I [00:06:00] didn't actually tell anybody when I first wrote these books. So ironically, I was writing about self belief and being, believing in your dreams, and I didn't tell anybody that I'd done this. So it's completely ironic. Um, and no, the confidence didn't, wasn't there initially.
[00:06:15] Eleanor Baggaley: It's something that I have worked on, and it's, it, that's the one thing, I suppose from the Transformational Mindset coaching, I saw the impact that had on me, and that's what I want to help other people with. As well, so that they're not stuck with psychically trying to get people to guess what, what they can offer.
[00:06:35] Dori Durbin: I like that. I like that terminology because I think that's what happens a lot of times. It's like, you're waiting for somebody to recognize it in you and hoping that they let you know that they see that when in reality, they don't have the first clue that you're even looking. So what was it that got you to the point where you're like, okay, I have all these things, I'm not showing anyone.
[00:06:57] Dori Durbin: What was the step that you took to [00:07:00] push you out there?
[00:07:02] Eleanor Baggaley: Uh, it was working with my coach. So I have a coach that I meet with on a regular basis and she helped me to, uh, it was all based around Robert Diltz's, uh, logical levels and around the identity steps within that. So she worked through that with me and that's something that I carry through the, uh, work that I do both when I'm working with authors and kind of other clients as well about stepping into that identity of who you need to be in order to.
[00:07:28] Eleanor Baggaley: Achieve the goals that you want or move to the next level or whatever it is. What are the barriers? And quite often it is because we are wearing a different hat. So I was still in my math teacher hat and potentially even in parent hat, but I wasn't stepping into my author hat. And I needed to just put that, that different hat on or different pair of shoes, whatever you want.
[00:07:49] Eleanor Baggaley: I refer to it as I needed to walk in my author's shoes rather than my kind of past teacher's shoes. So yeah, it was working with my coach really, and then just carrying that work on. [00:08:00] And it's, it is the one biggest thing that made an impact for me. And that's why I want to use that to help others.
[00:08:09] Dori Durbin: So I love the hat scenario, because I think it's easy to envision putting on a different hat and having a different persona.
[00:08:16] Dori Durbin: It's like throwing a feather boa, and you're not going to just sit there in a corner with a feather boa on. And the same thing with the hat. So you put on a sailor hat, you're probably going to act like you're on the ship. So the same kind of like. Embracing what you're trying to become. So let's take that.
[00:08:32] Dori Durbin: That's at an adult level. Let's take it down to a kid level. How do we teach our kids how to do that? Because. Their imaginations are already wild. How do we keep that going?
[00:08:44] Eleanor Baggaley: But it's interesting because my, my children are five, 11 and 14. So I suppose I try to look at, and my youngest, a little girl has a disability and additional needs as well.
[00:08:57] Eleanor Baggaley: So I suppose it's, it changes a little [00:09:00] bit, but that primary age up to the age of 10, 11, that sense of, A wonder and imagination and dreaming that you can go and achieve whatever it is that you want to achieve. And on holiday, my, my little girl was climbing up my legs and she was saying, climbing a tree, which obviously she's not climbing a tree.
[00:09:21] Eleanor Baggaley: She's climbing up me. And I actually found myself going, but you're not climbing a tree. You're climbing mummy. And it was my husband who said. You're not letting her have her imagination. I was like, Oh my God, I'm not. I'm stopping her imagination. I'm telling her that she's wrong for thinking she's climbing a tree.
[00:09:37] Eleanor Baggaley: So I think that transition from primary to secondary school, I'm not sure. Um, I can't think what you call it in, in the U S but the elementary to middle school. Yeah. So it's mostly, it's probably partway through the middle school, um, phase. Uh, and I think it's somewhere around there. And I think it is when you start maybe to take in.
[00:09:58] Eleanor Baggaley: What other people are [00:10:00] saying and taking that on board. And if people, if you're hearing that things aren't as you expect them to be. So certain times of year, certain holidays, we have our imaginations about who's around and doing various different things. And those things can change, um, based on what we're told.
[00:10:22] Eleanor Baggaley: And I think the outside influences. Uh, what has that impact?
[00:10:30] Dori Durbin: It makes a lot of sense because we're not seeing ourselves from where we're coming from then. We're seeing what we think other people are expecting of us or seeing in us. Right?
[00:10:41] Eleanor Baggaley: Yeah. Yeah. And it's, I think it's, as you get to that age of 10, 11, you are just becoming more aware of how people perceive you and about how people perceive the world around them.
[00:10:55] Eleanor Baggaley: You start to adapt your behaviors so that it fits in line [00:11:00] with other people.
[00:11:02] Dori Durbin: That's interesting. And do you think that's partly what keeps, let's jump back out to the writers that you work with, do you think that keeps writers from trying to actually get books out? Is that fear of what other people are going to think of them because they're trying to get this book out?
[00:11:19] Eleanor Baggaley: From personal experience, I would say absolutely. Yeah. Yeah, I think there is an element of that. I think when you write a book, it's a very, it can be a very personal part of you. Um, as I always say, I did a careers fair recently and, um, the children, every single group had asked me which was my favorite book.
[00:11:38] Eleanor Baggaley: And I was like, Oh my gosh, it really feels like I'm trying to pick my favorite child. And that is really hard. Maybe not all the time, but sometimes that's really hard. And, um, and I think it's because there's a little bit, a little piece of me in each of those books. And I think. If you feel like you're revealing a piece of you to the world and someone says, I don't like that, it's, [00:12:00] oh, they don't like me.
[00:12:01] Eleanor Baggaley: And it's, it can be quite hard to hear that someone doesn't like your ideas or they don't like a part of you or whatever it might be. And I think that is one of the things that can get in the way.
[00:12:11] Dori Durbin: Yeah, I remember feeling physically nauseous the day that my book came out on Amazon and my husband was like, it's going to be fine.
[00:12:19] Dori Durbin: It's going to be fine. And I said, do you realize how much it took for me to just even get this out here? He said, yes, I've been here the whole time. It was so hard though, because I was so afraid of what kind of fallback I would get from it. And. And I honestly, I think in the whole time, I've only had 1 really negative thing that I ended up like, just deleting the best I could, but it was, it was.
[00:12:43] Dori Durbin: Almost a metamorphic experience to go from feeling you've got this great idea that's stuck inside of you to releasing it and then seeing what it'll do. That's scary. It is real. And the imposter syndrome is very
[00:12:56] Eleanor Baggaley: real. Oh yeah, very much. So very much. But I think, uh, that's the [00:13:00] one thing that. I want to help people get over that with whatever it is in their life, getting over that imposter syndrome and working through it is massive.
[00:13:10] Eleanor Baggaley: Yeah.
[00:13:11] Dori Durbin: So are there like quick steps that you start people with trying to figure out how to do that for themselves?
[00:13:17] Eleanor Baggaley: Yeah. So I take people through it, through a model. So there's seven different levels within it. And it's a quite often. So if you're trying to lose weight, you quite often. Try to just change your behaviors.
[00:13:27] Eleanor Baggaley: So you might put your trainers by the front door, you're gonna put 'em on, and then you're gonna go out. I personally, if I'm gonna go out for a run, I have to put my running stuff on in the morning, even if I'm not gonna go out straight away. 'cause I, I hate the feel of it. So I know that I can take it off as soon as I've been for a run.
[00:13:43] Eleanor Baggaley: So that gets me into going for a run. But quite often if we're just trying to change our behaviors, it doesn't stick. We don't stick at it very long. Think about how many times you might have tried a diet or tried a new. Exercise regime. It just doesn't, it doesn't stick because you're just trying to change the behaviors and [00:14:00] habits that you put in place.
[00:14:01] Eleanor Baggaley: So the model that I take people through, it goes beyond that. It looks at the skills and capabilities that they have in other areas of their life that they can bring through to this. Um, and it goes ultimately all the way back to looking at their identity and who they need to be as a person, um, to be able to step into being an author and achieve that goal.
[00:14:20] Dori Durbin: Yeah. So it's back to their why and back to their. Expectation of where they want to become right.
[00:14:27] Eleanor Baggaley: Yeah. Yeah. Ultimately. Yeah.
[00:14:30] Dori Durbin: And that's huge. I mean that you made it sound very simple.
[00:14:34] Eleanor Baggaley: That was a very whistle stop tour. Yeah.
[00:14:37] Dori Durbin: I know realistically, it's a progression. It's not an overnight kind of thing. And I asked you for a quick one, so good.
[00:14:43] Dori Durbin: Yeah. Yeah. So as far as your career now from before, what have been some real benefits to what you've been doing, especially as an author?
[00:14:55] Eleanor Baggaley: The main benefit is that I get to go and do the [00:15:00] school pick up and drop off and I'm there for my kids and they can be a part of this. My books are named after my children.
[00:15:08] Eleanor Baggaley: Um, so it literally is like picking a favorite child if someone asks me my favorite book. But they are hugely part of this. And even to the point that last summer. My eldest daughter wrote a book with me. So it was the first one we co wrote together and that was really nice that she wanted to be a real active part in that, even, I mean, she was 13 then.
[00:15:28] Eleanor Baggaley: So I don't have the stress levels that I had when I was teaching. It's just, I feel like I found me and although people always thought it was quite funny or weird when I'd said I can have more impact not being in the classroom, because when I'm in the classroom, I can only impact. 100 kids a day, say, um, whereas actually by writing my books and getting them out, I can impact potentially so many more
[00:15:59] Dori Durbin: [00:16:00] people.
[00:16:00] Dori Durbin: Yeah, I think so too. And they can reread them. It's not like it's a once and done kind of thing. It's, you've got. Literally years of potential impact in
[00:16:10] Eleanor Baggaley: the books that I've, I've written as well. The picture books, they've all got activities in the back. So they are very much designed to be a book that gets revisited.
[00:16:19] Eleanor Baggaley: So the child can read through it and they can add to that about their hopes, their dreams, their goals, the things that recognizing the things that they're good at recognizing things that they might need help with recognizing the struggles, how they can help other people. So it's a, not just a storybook.
[00:16:34] Eleanor Baggaley: It is. I suppose a mini journal stroke storybook all in one and with the picture books as well. The idea is that obviously parents will read to the young children to start off with. And I've had parents message me and said, Oh my God, I was crying. You've, that spoke to me. So it's not just speaking to the kids.
[00:16:54] Eleanor Baggaley: It's changing how the adults see themselves as well as part of it. So. [00:17:00] Don't underestimate the power of a kid's book. Go and buy one as an adult and see what it does for you.
[00:17:06] Dori Durbin: I love that you said that because I think they just speak to us as people, as humans who are experiencing a lot of the same things.
[00:17:14] Dori Durbin: And I think that's so powerful.
[00:17:16] Eleanor Baggaley: I think going back to what you said earlier as well, though, about when does that sense of wonder and imagination get lost? And I think if you. If as an adult, you do go back and read children's books, it takes you back into that sense of wonder. You get back into that mindset.
[00:17:31] Eleanor Baggaley: And I think certainly for anyone who's wanting to write a children's book, going back and reading them and going back into that world is really important. But even if you're not, why wouldn't you? And it's fun.
[00:17:47] Dori Durbin: I think one of your books, we actually are going to make a favorite child today. And that isn't.
[00:17:52] Dori Durbin: Maya the Unicorn, right? So now I know that it's named after Maya, one of your daughters, and do you want to tell us a little bit about it? [00:18:00]
[00:18:00] Eleanor Baggaley: Yeah, so this one and Oscar the Dragon, to be fair, they both follow the same story, uh, and they were the ones that came out of the, this Creating a program for teens. Um, And I wasn't sure what to call it.
[00:18:13] Eleanor Baggaley: I didn't know that I was going to call it Maya and Oscar initially. I just knew that I had the two characters. My daughter loved unicorns and my son loved dinosaurs and dragons at the time. So yeah, it was born from that. And the age that they were that my, my two children were at that primary age at that point.
[00:18:29] Eleanor Baggaley: So although I was creating something for older kids, I thought I don't want my kids to get to that age and still be struggling. So this is where this one came from that. I wanted Maya at, so she must have been about six or seven at this point and I wanted her to take this all through her life with her and make sure that she knew she could achieve anything that she wanted to.
[00:18:53] Eleanor Baggaley: I love that.
[00:18:54] Dori Durbin: Love that. Do you want to read some of it for us?
[00:18:58] Eleanor Baggaley: Yeah, of course. [00:19:00] Okay, so this is a middle ish bit of the book. The fairy led Maya straight back over to the water's edge. Maya couldn't wait to see who was going to make all of her dreams come true. Look, said the fairy. At what? asked Maya. All she could see was a reflection of herself.
[00:19:28] Eleanor Baggaley: Who do you see? It's just me, Maya said sadly. Yes, but you're the most important. You must see and believe in yourself before others can, explained the fairy. Oh, I love it.
[00:19:47] Dori Durbin: Now, Maya was six then, so how old is she now? She's
[00:19:51] Eleanor Baggaley: 14 now.
[00:19:53] Dori Durbin: And does she have like a special place in her heart for this book and what it means to her?
[00:19:59] Dori Durbin: Um, [00:20:00]
[00:20:00] Eleanor Baggaley: I think so. I think she, yeah, I don't know whether she takes it for granted a little bit that the book was written for her and because she's always had it. Uh, interestingly, my son, Oscar, he, um, he does go and revisit his a little bit. More often, but yeah, it's I suppose we, we try and live by those values just day to day and that's
[00:20:23] Dori Durbin: okay.
[00:20:24] Dori Durbin: That's good. That's a good thing.
[00:20:26] Eleanor Baggaley: Yeah. Yeah.
[00:20:27] Dori Durbin: Yeah. So as far as just going back to the imposter syndrome in your books, if there was a parent that was really feeling like. They suffer with the imposter syndrome. They're looking at their kids, knowing probably some of this is wearing off on their kids, some of the viewpoints and the beliefs.
[00:20:47] Dori Durbin: Is there anything that they can do to just encourage them to go and to be brave and to take these challenges?
[00:20:56] Eleanor Baggaley: Picking up one of the books. Yeah, for sure. Um, I [00:21:00] think. Bye. Bye. Bye. It's about surrounding yourself with that mentality, and it's not going to help if it's just you pick it up, you read something like that once.
[00:21:10] Eleanor Baggaley: It's about surrounding yourself. So I, um, above my desk, where I spend all of my working time, I have my goal board. Above there. And I have some key statements that I know. So positive words, things like that, that all help me to move forwards to what it is that I want. Uh, and key kind of phrases, quotes, or anything like that helps me go, you know what, actually I've got this.
[00:21:38] Eleanor Baggaley: And I. I'm not immune from imposter syndrome. I took quite a long holiday over the summer. We were away for a month and trying to get back in the swing of things. And actually this is something that I used to have every single year as a teacher. The kind of the week before going back to school, I would every single year without fail, think, Oh my God, I can't do this.
[00:21:58] Eleanor Baggaley: I can't teach. Who am I [00:22:00] thinking? I can teach every single year that happened. And even as I say, this year. With all of the mindset work that I do on a regular basis, I didn't do any of it while I was on holiday and that really showed. So I, the things I recommend to people are to journal around, uh, what it is you want to achieve, why you think you've got some things stopping you, um, create a vision board, your goals, your dreams, your positive words, things like that.
[00:22:29] Eleanor Baggaley: And spend some time praising yourself and giving yourself a pat on the back when you do things well, or whether it's a small task, making the bed in the morning, you've achieved something that day, go and conquer the world if you want. Uh, but I think that those are a few key things really.
[00:22:44] Dori Durbin: Yeah, it's funny that you say that about making the bed, because I think for some of us, the accomplishments we think have to be a certain size.
[00:22:53] Dori Durbin: Okay, making your bed. Yeah, at first my brain was like, Oh, that's cute. That's funny. And then I'm like, actually, that is a big deal. Because there's some [00:23:00] days that You don't have time. You don't think about it. You're too tired, whatever.
[00:23:04] Eleanor Baggaley: That was me on Saturday morning. And I actually text into those and I was just like, I'm just not feeling it today.
[00:23:09] Eleanor Baggaley: I was like, I'm training for a half marathon at the moment and I haven't actually been out for a run for just over a week and I was feeling really overwhelmed and I was like, I know I should be doing this. And I didn't want to get out of bed, but I made myself get out of bed and I made myself pull the covers back because I've made the bed.
[00:23:24] Eleanor Baggaley: So I knew I had achieved that one thing that day, even though I had zero motivation for doing anything else. So it is, it's really important. It's a massive achievement some days. Yeah.
[00:23:35] Dori Durbin: Yeah. And I think some days, those days that you don't want to do anything are the days that actually you do the most without really meaning to.
[00:23:42] Dori Durbin: It takes so much effort. It's almost like you, you rolling down a hill, like you get up the hill and then you get this momentum that you didn't expect and it ends up better than what you think.
[00:23:53] Eleanor Baggaley: Yeah, no, absolutely. And as you say, even if it's that momentum of achieving all those small things, um, [00:24:00] so I think quite often Those days come out of overwhelm and by ticking off a list of small things, it frees your mind up to achieve the bigger things.
[00:24:11] Dori Durbin: I love that. No. And that's definitely applicable to our kids. I think if you think about setting goals, having a vision, the hard part is the parent is trying not to squelch the vision. If you want to be a tree, but that sense of the awe and wonder and continuing that in their lives, I think is really important too.
[00:24:33] Eleanor Baggaley: Yeah, absolutely. Absolutely.
[00:24:34] Dori Durbin: Absolutely. Thank you. Before we go, I want to get two, two more things from you. Number one, give me as many books as you can of your books, the titles. And number two, where we can find those books and find you.
[00:24:48] Eleanor Baggaley: Okay. So I have, as I read earlier, Maya the Unicorn. I have Oscar the Dragon.
[00:24:56] Eleanor Baggaley: I have Ava the Mermaid. Oscar the Dragon [00:25:00] cleans his teeth. Ava the Mermaid goes to hospital. Sophie Sloth. And Becoming the Goat. Very good.
[00:25:11] Dori Durbin: And where can they find you and your books?
[00:25:14] Eleanor Baggaley: So they are available on Amazon, you should be able to find them on Amazon, uh, by searching their title and or my name and my website is elinabagley.
[00:25:24] Eleanor Baggaley: com bit of a nightmare to spell, but, um, I'm on there and my social handles are elinabagleyauthor.
[00:25:33] Dori Durbin: And then if they're interested in coaching, they can reach you there as well. Oh, yes,
[00:25:37] Eleanor Baggaley: absolutely. Yeah.
[00:25:38] Dori Durbin: Very good. Very good. Eleanor, you are just a plethora of information. I loved your honesty. And I think if nothing else people should get from this, it's that we all experience imposter syndrome and overcoming it is just a process that has to be reinforced if nothing else.
[00:25:55] Dori Durbin: Right? Oh,
[00:25:56] Eleanor Baggaley: without a doubt. Yeah. This, I don't think there's ever an end point. I think [00:26:00] it's always a journey.
[00:26:01] Dori Durbin: Thank you so much for your time today.
[00:26:04] Eleanor Baggaley: Oh, thank you for having me. It's been an absolute pleasure. I've loved it.
[00:26:08] Dori Durbin: Hey parents, Eleanor Bagley's books can be found at her website, EleanorBagley. com, or you can find them on Amazon.
[00:26:16] Dori Durbin: And if you're a parent who's been thinking, gosh, I should just write my children's book, you should definitely click the link in the chat and book a call with me soon.